Forgotten Desires
by xoxrelientkxox
Summary: After meeting Courtney on Eelong will Spaders obssesion take him too far? Bobby and Loor had always been no more than teamates and Bobby now respects that. But now that Loor's territory is at stake will things get more emotional? CH.4 IS UP!
1. Love guides you

**I own NONE of these charaters or fictional places Those all belong to the author of the pendragon series' imagination, D.J. McHale and i respect that. Thank you for reading this.

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**Forgotten Destiny**

**ch.1 Love guides you**.

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( )( )( )( )"I've givin' up on giving up slowly. I'm blending in so you won't know me."- Relient K( )( )( )( )**_

It happened again.

Bobby spent another night looking up at Loors' thatch ceiling. While Loor slept sounding on what appeared to a bed made of rough animal fur, across the room.

He had the dream.

The dream he wished that would always end before it's time. Bobby would dream of hair and skin everywhere, bodies entangled, tongues colieding, two people becoming one. He dreamed of making love to Courtney. His Courtney back home. Her fierce gray eyes and long brown hair that memerized him when the wind blew it in thin wisps around her perfect face. He was nearly 16 what else could he think about? His dream came every night tearing at his heart everytime he worked to get to that climax, that exstacy...but never reached it leaving him fully erect everytime, forcing him to do things to himself to make it surrender before Loor woke up. Each night he wished he could go home. He wished Uncle would come back and say it was all a joke or a dream. And make it all better.

He used his time alone to catch up on his journal. He wrote to Courtney and Mark of the tension between the Batu and Rokador on Zadaa, and the lack of water for the Batu people. He wrote that it'd gotten so bad between the two tribes that he, looking like a Rokador, couldn't accompany Loor anywhere.If Loor's neighbors disapproved of the fact that she held a Rokador in her house,they didn't show it, to her face at least.BUT there was never any sign of Saint Dane.

Bobby was so lonely.

_**( )( )( )( )"Any control I thought had, Just slips right though my hands, while my ever present conscious shakes it's head and repremends me." - Relientk( )( )( )( )**_

Mark and Courtney had recieved only a few journals since they'd last saw Bobby on Eelong. Mark felt guilty for distroying the Eelong flume. Now Spader and Gunny were trapped on Eelong for good and Kasha the traveler was dead. Mark was a wreck the next few weeks(It didn't help that Andy Mitchell was now popular with his Sci-Clop friends) even though Courtney tried to console him with Bobby's words.

"Either way we would've lost 3 travelers."

Since then Courtney had been trying to get her life back together. She ignored the fact that she didn't make volleyball and picked up running every morning before school. It helped take her mind off things. On day while running she toke the long route past the Mark's house and the empty lot where Bobby's house used to be. Actually she wanted to see the flume that inhabited the old mansion. Well this morning she slowed hoping that there was a slim chance she would see Bobby again. All her friends has boyfriends and they were sexually active, doing things and having experiences that Courtney wanted. But only with Bobby.Basically, Courtney was horny out her mind.

Courtney slowed to a stop when she noticed a faint tinkling of notes coming from behind the iron gates. She suddenly realized that she was in the wrong place! She had to get in there! What if it was her Bobby? She didn't stop to think "what if its Saint Dane?" She was only thinking about that sweet kiss she would share him that she hoped would lead to more, much more. She made a frantic dash up the wall and cleared it, easily landing in a crouch on the other side. She ran toward the house happily. She jumped down the steps two at a time and turned the corner to come face to face with...Spader?

Crazy it's my first one! Please Review!


	2. Out of sightout of mind

I own NONE of these characters are fictional places they are all the property of the author of the pendragon series' mind, D.J. McHale. I respect that and i Hope you do too!

I know there aren't many Pendragon fan-fic. stories even though Pendragon is WAY better than Harry Potter. So lets show them what they are missing. There will be intmate scenes and if you do not like that please do not read! But leave reviews cuz i'd LOVE to hear them! But i do adore Harry Potter too!

Forgotten Desires

ch.2 Out out of sight...out of mind?

"You get me oh, so simply.But my heart just won't let me..." -Hawk Nelson

Courtney could believe her eyes.

"Sp-Spader?" she sputtered in shock.

"Hobey-ho Courtney!" Spader said nervously.

Her heart which was just a moment ago swelling with antipation and glee, was now heavy with diappointment.

After a moment Spader made a move toward her.

"Wait!" she screamed, backing up.

"How do I know you're really Spader and not Saint Dane?" she said with narrowed eyes.The shock had wore away and left only suspision.

Spader looked even more nervous.

Courtney racked her brain for a question that only Spader would know.

"When Mark and I visited Cloral..." she paused "What color was my cloral suit and what color was Marks'?"

Spader smiled from ear to ear, Courtney at that moment couldn't help but think he was the cutest thing ever.

"I thought i was in a tum-tugger at first!" he laughed.

"Answer the question." Courtney said ,all business.

Spader cleared his throat. " I'll always remember what you were wearing. It was an average blue suit. Mark wore a blue one also. You looked absolutely stunning in yours..." he trailed off looking her up and down.Stoping at her breasts.

Courtney suddenly became aware that she was only wearing a sprots bra and soccer shorts.She folded her arms.

"okay...i believe you."

"Thank You!" Spader said hugging her.

Courtney hugged back stiffly."What are you doing here? How'd you get here? Does Wu Yenza know you're here? She's really worried."

Spader answered patiently."Kasha's acolyte found another flume in the Black Water cave.Gunny went back home but i imagine he'll be in a bit of a tum-tugger trying to explain only one hand." he said seriously.

"Why didn't didn't you go home?Why'd you come to Seond Earth? Is Saint Dane plotting here? I thought he was in Zadaa.Have you talked to Bobby? I-"

"You haven't changed a bit." Spader said pushing stray strands of Courtney's hair.

"Spader what is wrong is you? Why are you here?"

"I love you,Courtney. I miss you. I know you have feelings for Bobby but please give me a chance."

Was it just the travelers charm or was Courtney being soothed by Spader's words?She felt her self calming down but she was trying to fight it.

"You- But- I- you- we- HOw-" Courtney babbled before she gave in to Spader's chocolate eyes.Whas it just her or was he closer to her than she remembered? His hands settled at her small waist and she felt and incredible rush travel through her veins.She'd had plenty of guys hold her this way but she'd never felt this way with anyone.Spader's eyes were locked with hers. She wanted him.She knew it.It was hormones. They raced madly. she kissed him. Frantically.She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands slowly searched her body.They began to back up against a wall ,Spader pushed into her aggresively. This is all Courtney wanted, to be wanted, pyhsically,emotionally.

to be continued...

Thanks for reading.


	3. I started first why am I last?

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Thank you so much for the reviews! I wasn't going to continue unless i knew someone would read them!

I OWN NOTHING! Other than the plot of course...sorry for taking so long to put this up!

Chapter 3: "I started first...why am I last?

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**"Sit back and let her die slowly don't cry she didn't love you anyway"Hawthorne Heights**

Loor was strong, stronger than most men. That's why she intimidated most of them.

But she never seemed happy, she respected Bobbys' concern and help, of course, even though there wasn't much he could do since the look a like a Rokador, in a Batu village... but she'd become accustomed to waiting.

Some week day--Bobby had long lost count of the days--Loor came home late. She was'nt alone. Terrified, Bobby assumed his usually hiding place in a small closet equiped with a small hole, for air.

Yes, Loor could be thoughtful.

They both agreed it wouldn't make any Batu happy to see a male Rokador lounging around Loor's house. So why did Loor bring someone home without any warning? And to make matters worse...It was a man.Men on Zadaa weren't rowdy like men on Second Earth. No, these men stepped over the line, theres some pretty bad stuff going on ,some pyscho shooting up some place. That was nothing compared the average Batu teen. These guys were lethal with fists.Their tempers were easily taken to their breaking points.So naturally Bobby felt betrayed. He was scared. He prayed the man didn't suddenly want to throw his shoes in the closet, discover a puny Rokador guy cowering in the corner, and twist off his head easily was opening a bottle of Coca-Cola.

The man was built like Loor but taller. He was lanky and towered over her with a booming voice.

"C'mon" the man said stroking her long hair seductively

"No" Loor giggled.

_What's going on? Loor doesn't giggle..._

"You know you want to" the man said

Scared, Bobby looked through his air hole

The man was holding Loor close.

"Stop it Rue!" Loor giggled again ,her speach was slurred.

_Is she drunk? She sounds drunk..._

"I SAID NOW" The man said now pinning her to the wall.

Loor's warrior instincts took over and she sprung a hit to his nose with the heel of palm before Rue knew what was coming.

Bobby smiled.

"AHHH you stupid--" Rue said raising his fist and slaming Loor in the face.

"I'M SORRY!" Loor wailed and slid to the fist pummeled her over and over without mercy.

"I'll make you sorry!" He screamed. His calm, cajoling voice was long gone and was replaced by an angry, drunken scream.He began kicking Loor who became a pathetic ball of small cries and wimpers.She reminded Bobby of the Gar's on Eelong in that he shared a cell with.

_Why isn't she fighting back? _

Bobby stood there afraid to breathe. What was he supposed to do? Be Loor's superman? What if the man ripped him apart? Worse. What if he ripped Loor apart? He was nothing without Loor. With Spader and Gunny trapped on Eelong he would be alone...

Bobby started to panic.

_Fuck...he's going to fucking kill her. That stupid fuck! FUCK i have to do something. Fucking bitch! Listen to her scream? Don't you have fucking ears?. FUCK FUCK FUCK Think you FUCKER!_

**cause i think way too much  
on a one track mind  
and you're so out of touch  
cause i'm so far behind  
i'm trying to make sense  
out of all of this  
while your fading scent  
just slips through my grip  
Relient K**

Stupidly Courtney had gotten herself into this mess. She gave herself a mental slap when she realized what she'd done. She'd let Spader take advantage of her!

mental slap _No, you idiot you took advantage of him! Everytime he touched you, you thought of Bobby! _

Courtney continued to battle with herself the next day.There was no convincing Spader to go back. He said he only wanted one thing out of life...and that was to be with Courtney. As sweet as that only wanted something else. Something different...

She wanted Bobby Pendragon to touch her in ways she'd always dreamed

She wanted Bobby Pendragon to kiss her, lick her, taste everywhere while she clutched his beautiful brown in between her fingers until he hit that spot that made her scream his name with a sigh that shook her whole body...

She wanted Bobby Pendragon to fuck her brains out.

Of course admiting that to herself she realized that thinking these dirty thoughts just made her horny...at school.

She sighed, trying to get control of her hormones, and tuned back in, to listen to whatever her Science teacher was blabbing about. What did it all matter? Bobby was out there trying to save fucking Halla while she was sitting here pretending to understand punnet squares and all that other crap.

With another heavy sigh she turned her and looked out the window she said to the far left of the room. It faced a overgrown bush.Instead of seeing the usual dull mini-leaves she saw...

_Spader?_

She jumped then looked around to make sure no one else had seen. The skater chick in the back was painting her nails bright red with a sharpie and the hot emo kid with his hair in eyes and the lip ring was looking out a different window. Probably writing poetry or something emo like that... Everyone else either had their foreheads pressed against their desktops or were passing notes.

She jumped out of her seat a little too fast...

"Miss--"

"Cramps!" she yelled running out of the classroom. Her classmates eyes followed her as she ran toward the door clutching her stomach.They were snickering.

She swore at herself once she got into the hallway.Had she just walked out on her Science class.Her Dad would be pissed. But imagine all the crap she'd have to put up with if Mark saw Spader on Second Earth when everyone was worried about him.He would never shut up about about responsiblity or something shit like that.The truth was a part of Courtney didn't want Spader to go. The kiss they'd shared was was better than what she'd ever even imagined with Bobby.

And Courtney imagined a WHOLE lot.

Working her way outside of the to the door and not being hounded by a hall monitor was Courtney's plan. She walked as fast as she could.

Around a corner she ran into someone who's pathed she had stomped on and covered with dirt.

"Patrick..." she said.

He was still as breathtaking as she remembered. Tall, slender with broad shoulders, and blonde hair that curled into eyes. He had the perfect body of a swimmer.He was water polo jock. But his blue/grey were the first thing that had attracted her to him.The fact that he was innocent...so unlike Bobby...

Flashback

_"Oh yes..." _

His hot,wet kisses took her breath away.

She felt a tingling in her lower stomach unlike she'd ever felt before.

Was it just her or did his hand being there make the tingle turn into a full throb?

_"Oh God."_

He cupped her breast gently stroking the nipple.Then traced lazy circles with his tounge. His kisses ran down her stomach.

_"What are you doing to me?"_

It was night she'd told Patrick that she loved him. Then pushed him away, leaving him breathless and confused...

But she realized that she did need him. She needed him to fill the empty hole that Bobby had cut out of her heart.

She went back to him that night. Only to find Patrick...with a man in his arms.

She wept that night. She blamed him for her hurt.

_"FUCKING QUEER!"_

Courtney screamed and cried and switched the blame over to Bobby.

The things shes said that night...they were horrible.She ruined a beautiful boy with a wonderful lifes' future.

Did she reject him because he was bi-sexual?

_Oh, the thing's you said that night..._

No. She didn't even know that.

_Why are you such a bitch?_

That night her soul crumbled and Courtney became machine with no emotions of feelings on the outside. But tears and regret messing up the machinery on the inside.

End Flashback

Courtney stood in front of Patrick with her eyes down.She never stood like this she was always tall and proud for everyone to see.

"Hey..." he said

Courtney had fucked up Patricks reputation.She dragged him down into her life and spit him out into a whole new private hell hole. He was now the school's biggest queer...What could Courtney say, after months of avoiding him, to make everything how it used to be?

"I-I have to go." She said pushing past him and hating herself for remembering what she'd done to him.

Sighing Courtney Chetwynde pushed through the school doors. She'd never realised how easy it was to walk out. It always seemed like there would snipers in the clouds are something.

"So this is what it's like to ditch..." she said turning around him the parking lot looking at the grey clouds. It wasn't the prettiest day. But at least it wasn't raining.

"Hobey Ho! Courtney!" Spader said running toward her with Marks' yellow _Cool Dude _sweatshirt.

Courtney wanted to laugh because Mark's clothes didn't fit quite fit Spader's tall, athletic body, but she didn't even smirk. She crossed her arms and gave Spader a dead stare. Maybe then he'd know he wasn't wanted.

It began to rain.


	4. Lust & Lunacy

You guys I am pleased and absolutely FLABERGASTED that anyone still reads this, let alone ever read it in the first place.

I began Forgotten Desires 4 years ago. And let me tell you, I was quite young and naïve which is evident by the broken, un-proofread language displayed in the previous 3 chapters.

To be honest, I could hardly get through the chapters without cringing. I thought I owed it to myself, now 4 years wiser, and to the people who stumbled upon this, to finish a series for once in my life. I've done various non-Pendragon one-shots on livejournal but I'm actually interested in pursuing this story.

I started writing Forgotten Desires in 2005 right after I read Book 5: Black Water. Book 6: The Rivers of Zadaa, hadn't come out yet. And I don't wanna brag but I basically called the Loor/Bobby thing. Or at least, I felt I did. I went back and re-read the ending of Black Water to get in the mindset I was in 4 years ago. I think I had other chapters written out; I was just either A. too lazy to put them up B. too ashamed because I ran out of steam. Probably a little bit of both.

This is a long intro, I know, but it's warranted given the situation. If I can, I'm going to try and revise the first 3 chapters and put them back up in coherent form, because I knew what I meant, I just had some major typing FAIL issues. And you have to forgive me if this one has obvious flaws, go ahead and point them out please but I'm just so excited that I have to post this asap.

Anyways, all the usual yadda yadda **D.J. McHale is the Boss (obvs) and he owns all these characters and places. I just use them as confused, hormonal, love-sick marionettes**. This is rated **MATURE** for implied scenes of violence, language, and of course sexuality.

Enjoy ch. 4!

Forgotten Desires

**Ch. 4 Lust & Lunacy**

Push in and I pull it away

It's the hard part but the true love way

Girl you're wanted like a wanted man

With your smart mouth and your killer hands

Bobby crushed his eyes closed. What else could he do? Loor was the toughest chick—scratch that the toughest **person **he knew and here she was being submitted to some pretty hardcore Batu domestic violence. If Bobby ever tried to so much as lay a finger on her, that finger would probably ripped off and thrown to the quig dogs… or quig snakes in Zadaa's case .

When Bobby opened his eyes, he saw that the bastard had pinned her to the ground, with his back facing towards Bobby's hiding spot. This was it, do or die; he could catch the tyrant off guard. His plan was to jump out, pathetic, pale and unarmed then subsequently die 4 seconds later in Loor's honor.

So Bobby stayed put because he'd already felt the sting of mixing territories. Maybe this was a custom he didn't understand? If Bobby had learned anything from watching Loor throughout their "adventures" in Halla, it was that the Batu's preferred it rough. They were an entire tribe of lethal warriors, so it's not crazy to assume that intimacy takes a more violent form on Zadaa. Right? So if anything, Loor would be angry at him for interrupting her booty call **and **their cover would be blown.

He wanted punch himself in the face for rationalizing his cowardice. What was happening in front of him was definitely one-sided. If it weren't shouldn't Loor be getting a few blows in? However, it was the only way he could keep himself from doing something that would actually get him killed.

How could anyone hurt Loor? She was brilliant, beautiful, and bangin' for lack of a better word. Kids on Second Earth still use the term "bangin" to describe a girl with a nice body, right? In any case, she was way out of Bobby's league and they both knew it from day one. Plus, there's that whole "dipping pen in company ink" saying. Not that Loor would ever even want to see his pen, hell, he wouldn't even know how to use around her!

Bobby scooted as far away from his breathing hole as his little encasement would allow. He couldn't stop himself from hearing, but he didn't have to keep watching it. He might hurl. If he did, he'd be stuck in a box of his own stinking puke till Rue left and that's like number 12 on his list of Do Not Wants.

Loor wasn't fighting back anymore, he could tell because Rue had stopped cursing and begun grunting. Bobby didn't have to be genius to figure out what was going on. This was horrible, it might've been just the Xhaxhu heat but Bobby felt like they were in hell.

**There goes the downpour**

**There goes my fare thee well**

**Theres really no way to reach me**

**Cause I'm already gone**

Spader looked like a cocker spaniel, running towards Courtney with his mouth all open like that. He was actually laughing with his arms in the air like he'd never felt rain before. Okay, she had to admit that he was _kind of_ cute, in that goofy, un-housebroken puppy way.

By the time he reached Courtney, who'd taken refuge close to the side of the building void of any windows lest she be spotted by a teacher or something, he was sopping wet. Just drenched, and the jeans he wore where the ones that Courtney had _told_ Mark accentuated his chicken legs and yet he still kept them at the mouth of the flume.

And now Spader was wearing them and he looked damn silly. So Courtney was laughing too. They must've looked like a bunch of lunatics to the cars passing by. When he bent forward to embrace her, Courtney snorted and leaned back out of his reach out keep from getting wet. Spader just wagged his black shaggy hair from side to side, splashing Courtney in the face with droplets and getting her wet anyways.

"Spader, you're crazy! What are you doing here? How'd you even find me?"

"Woah! One question at a time! It's nice seeing you too Courtney. You look pretty today."

"Are you serious? All this humidity is turning me into a troll doll," She patted her long brown ponytail subconsciously; it had already begun to snarl at the ends.

Spader looked confused, " What's a Trulldull? Whatever ever it is, I'm sure you are least a little prettier." Spader winked.

"Thanks." Courtney rolled her eyes. She had to hurry this up because pretty soon word would get around that Courtney Chetwynde went a-wall again and someone would come looking for her… or maybe they'd all written her off already, isn't that what she wanted? To be left alone?

Either way, she needed to get Spader off campus like **now**.

"C'mon," she called as she took a sprinting start toward her car. She had so many questions ask. After their little moment they'd shared last night, she thought she'd made it clear to Spader that he should go home, take some time off. They did just finish saving an world. But here he was, less than 24 hours later, on Second Earth, being her headache.

Courtney knew that she had homework and the books she needed were still in her locker, but she'd already made the choice to walk out and there was no turning back now.

Spader got to her Mom's Bronze 04 Nissan Sentra before she did. Courtney narrowed her eyes slightly before reminding herself that she should chill out. So what if she was a little out of shape, she wasn't Courtney Chetwynde the competitor anymore. She left that Courtney behind a long time ago.

She'd only spent a total of 2 minutes and the rain but her jeans and socks had sucked up enough moisture that she knew the drive back was going to be uncomfortable. Not to mention he seats were going to be soaked and remain that way for a while, hopefully they'd be dry by the time her mom asked for the keys, and hopefully Mom wouldn't ask for the keys back before she could get Spader on a one way flume ride back to Cloral.

Somebody give Courtney a prize because she called it. The 15 minute drive back to her house was uncomfortable, in oh so many ways. 1. Her feet were feeling itchy and weighed down by her sopping socks and 2. Stop lights were terribly uncomfortable when Spader were just sitting there. She half expected him to ask a million questions, Cloral wasn't that similar to Second Earth, then she remember all the time he'd spent on First Earth. This was all the same shit, just newer.

It wasn't completely Tales of the Crypt in there. They exchanged off hand comments from time to time, mostly about the weather. However, after Spader's 5th dry quip, Courtney stopped listening. She just kept both hands on the wheel, 10 and 2, and her eyes on the road.

She had bigger fish to fry (literally isn't that like all people eat in a water world? What if Spader was hungry?) She couldn't even comprehend what she was going to do next. She _should_ just drive Spader straight to the flume and say forget it, forget all of it—they're not even from the same place, time, or space!

But she won't.

So next stop was the Chetwynde residence where she would find Spader a change of clothes… then what? This was too hard, especially with him in her peripheral vision. He was so _quiet_, it made her uneasy. Where was the happy-go-lucky blabbermouth she'd met on Eelong?

If he just said something that annoyed her maybe she could keep her mind from wandering, sifting through all these emotions that surfaced just by sharing space with the guy. Normally, she'd release her inhibitions, put her foot down and make a rational decision. But right now, next to the tall, tan Vo Spader, Courtney was having a hard time wrangling two sentiments in particular; lust and lunacy.

Thanks for reading! You're the best (and the coolest). I appreciate any and all comments!


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